Before I get into this post about the 4 important keys to build a good relationship with your husband, please understand that this post was written for s specific group in mind.
Those with a ring on it!
If your are a strong, independent woman (single), but is looking to get a ring on it, you should go straight to the P.S. at the end of this post,. Then come back to this point in the post.
For those of you who just got a ring on it to those of you who are approaching a major anniversary, it is always a good time to work on your relationship with your husband.
It’s a must that you make sure that both you and your husband can clearly explain your needs and desires.
Spending time together and improving intimacy will add a new spark to your relationship.
Yes, you will have arguments. They are natural in any relationship. Just make sure you solve yours in a healthy manner.
Now let’s begin!
Schedule periodic chats about the state of your relationship. As the two of you grow old together, both of your needs, desires, and interests will change. Using like the turn of the seasons as a gauge, come together to discuss the state of your relationship.
Use this time to express if your needs have changed. For example, you might say, “I feel as though I need some more time to myself” or “I would love it if we could spend more time together without the kids.
Let him know when something is bothering you. Don’t expect your husband to be a mind reader. If there is something that is upsetting, frustrating, or annoying you, tell him.
WARNING* Do not practice the habit of bottling up concerns and issues for a full blown release and then have the expectation of resolution coming from him. He can not do it. Men are logical fixtures.
Though he may try, he can not fix what he see as an array of relationshp issues, with one stroke. Trust me, I’ve tried many times.
At best, it just got me permission to sleep in my own bed. (Many times alone though)
Show gratitude to your husband when he does something well. You have to understand, you won over your husband because you were his biggest fan and/or cheerleader.
Thank him even for small tasks. Expressing appreciation is essential to showing your husband that you see him and his efforts. You want to share the positive as well as the negative.
Show your trust by respecting your husband’s privacy. Trust is essential in a relationship. Your husband needs to know that he can earn your trust and you will trust him, even when you are not around. This will help him trust you and create healthy boundaries in your relationship.
Ask your husband for help when you need it. Mostly because he needs to know you need him. Let him be your hero! Request his assistance politely and with respect. Explain why you want him to do something. Don’t forget to thank him afterwards!
Proper communication is a 2-way street. When you communicate with your husband, he should be expressing the same respect, trust, and openness back to you. If he does not, it may be time to talk to him about the issue.
Go on regular dates. Give yourself 1 day date every week ( Shopping, lunch, a walk, exercise, coffee shop, etc.). Also, a date NIGHT every 1-2 weeks. Make sure that nothing else interferes with this night. Don’t bring any children along. Make these dates about just the 2 of you.
Try new experiences together. If you and your husband keep doing the same things over and over again, you may be getting bored of your routine. Mix up your activities. Find a new experience together that the two of you both want to try.
Develop your own interests and hobbies outside of the marriage. If you and your husband do absolutely everything together, it might cause you to feel bored, confined, or isolated. If this is the case, focus on your own interests. Try doing things without your husband.
Calm down after an argurment. When the you and your husband have a fight, take time to cool down. Let him relax as well. When you’re both calm again, you can talk more rationally. This calming period can also help you figure out why you were upset or what you need to make things better.
Express why you are upset. Focus on the complaint, not on your husband. By expressing your feelings and thoughts on the matter, your husband will learn why you are frustrated. If you criticize him, however, he will become defensive.
Listen to your husband’s perspective. Your husband may have his own frustrations or complaints. Try not to get defensive when he expresses these. Don’t interrupt him either. Just let him talk and express his own side of things.
Compromise with each other on heated issues. The two of you will not agree on everything, and that’s okay. Remember to negotiate with your husband to ensure that you both are happy with the arrangement.
Apologize when you have done something wrong. If you feel as though you have said or done something wrong, a simple “I’m sorry” can go a long way in patching things up.
See a marriage counselor if you cannot overcome your differences. If the two of you fight constantly about the same things or if you feel dissatisfied in your marriage, it may be time to seek help. A counselor can help teach you healthy conflict resolution skills and compromise.
Establish a frequency that makes you both happy. Sit down with your man and discuss whether you are currently happy with the level of intimacy in your relationship.
If one of you wants more intimacy than the other, discuss what you can do to make each other happy.
Touch each other more outside of the bedroom to restore intimacy. Touch is important for creating intimacy, even outside of sexual contact.
Hug when you leave for work or kiss each other when you come home. Hold hands when you’re out in public. Cuddle on the couch or touch his shoulder when you talk.
Schedule intimacy into your calendar. While scheduled sex might not sound cool, it actually can help your love life immensely.
Once you put it on the calendar, make sure that no other commitments interfere with the time or date.
Tell your husband what you want out of sex. If you don’t express what you like, you may feel disappointed in the bedroom. Don’t be afraid to say what you like and what gives you pleasure. If you want to try something new, suggest it to him.